


Saving the Heroes

by Ysabetwordsmith



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Schrodinger's Heroes, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: #coulsonlives, Crushes, Cultural Differences, Dysfunctional Relationships, Fanboy Phil Coulson, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Homesickness, Meta, Pepper is perfect, Science Bros, Squishes, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics, Team as Family, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony is a jerk but he's OUR jerk, geeking out, science jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-02
Updated: 2013-04-06
Packaged: 2017-12-07 06:12:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/745208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ysabetwordsmith/pseuds/Ysabetwordsmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers and friends watch television together and discuss how much they wish for the return of a favorite show.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Saturday Morning Movies

**Author's Note:**

> This story fills a square on [my second card](http://ysabetwordsmith.dreamwidth.org/4625911.html) for the Cottoncandy Bingo fest. This fest encourages people to create and share material focused on what is variously called fluff, schmoop, gentle fiction, light reading, comfort reading, positive thinking, chicken soup for the soul, or anything else that offers a fun alternative to usual run of sex, violence, and angst of modern media. I'm hoping to attract some new readers for my writing.
> 
> The following story belongs to _[Schrodinger's Heroes,](http://ysabetwordsmith.dreamwidth.org/tag/schrodinger's+heroes)_ featuring an apocryphal television show supported by an imaginary fandom. It's science fiction about quantum physics and saving the world from alternate dimensions. It features a very mixed cast in terms of ethnicity and sexual orientation. This project developed with input from multiple people, and it's open for everyone to play in. You can read more about the background, the characters, and a bunch of assorted content on the [menu page](http://ysabetwordsmith.dreamwidth.org/1752525.html).
> 
> This is actually the first piece I've written about _fans of_ the show, rather than the characters within the show itself. (It will make more sense if you've read the background material, especially "[About the Show](http://ysabetwordsmith.dreamwidth.org/1738648.html)," "[Aired Episodes](http://ysabetwordsmith.dreamwidth.org/1745590.html)," and "[Unaired Episodes](http://ysabetwordsmith.dreamwidth.org/1747921.html).") In this case, the Avengers are all great big fangeeks, and they happen to love _Schrodinger's Heroes_ , which in their iteration of reality is an actual show (I envy them that). There are also references to assorted other fanac hijinks. As sometimes happens with _Schrodinger's Heroes,_ various relationships among the Avengers are hinted rather than specified. So you can pretty much fill out the shipping manifest with your favorite combination(s).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers watch movies as a teambuilding and cultural education practice.

With the Avengers sharing a tower, it rapidly came to light that one person's culture gaps could make things awkward for others, if nothing else for the way it put sudden potholes in a casual conversation. Steve had grown up in a poor neighborhood seventy years lost in time. Tony had been raised by a pair of indifferent drunks. Neither Clint nor Natasha had gone to regular school more than briefly. Bruce had grown up on an army base with a violently abusive father. Thor wasn't even human. To balance that they had ... Rhodey, another army brat; Phil, whose past not even Tony had managed to hack into yet; and Pepper, whom everyone agreed was perfect and therefore didn't count. Plus JARVIS, of course, but everyone except for Tony felt vaguely guilty about constantly bugging him for explanations that a normal person would already know.

In an effort to establish some common ground and encourage team bonding, they started gathering in the living room to watch movies and television on Saturdays. (Sometimes work-related emergencies interrupted, although this slowly declined as word got around among villains that the Avengers were extra crabby on a Saturday morning.) Tony had furnished the place with big foompy couches, sturdy coffee tables, an authentic popcorn machine, and a viewscreen that would put some movie theaters to shame. There was something to be said for a hangout designed by an avowed hedonist.

"What's the point of saving the world if you can't enjoy the stuff _in_ the world?" Tony said one day when Clint remarked that he had slept on beds smaller than that viewscreen.

"Guy's got a point, Clint," said Bruce, snuggling into Tony on a couch. "Live a little." Bruce was just beginning to show some appreciation of the finer things in life, and was actually wearing clothes that hadn't come out of a thrift shop or charity box, so Clint shut up.

They had gone through an assortment of shows including the _Terminator_ franchise ("Good thing JARVIS is on _our_ side, he's smarter than Skynet."), samples of all the _Star Trek_ incarnations ("Scotty, beam me up,"), _Star Wars_ ("Jar Jar Binks is an abomination!"), _Sherlock_ ("Finally, someone who speaks English."), _The Lord of the Rings_ ("Still not king yet."), _Supernatural_ ("Don't open that door!") and _Firefly_ ("Let's face it, we're _all_ going to the Special Hell.") so far. At first it had been a challenge to pry everyone out of their respective labs, gyms, offices, or other workspace. But now they all piled eagerly into the room as soon as JARVIS gave the ten-minute reminder.

Tony was twiddling with the controls and trying to decide what to play. "Any requests?" he asked.

"We haven't watched the _Twilight_ movies yet," Phil said.

"My god, you really will watch anything," Tony said. _"No."_

"It's an important piece of pop culture," Phil said.

Tony started singing, "Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away..."

"That is not how that song goes, Tony," Steve said primly.

"... Bella dies, Jacob cries, _Star Wars all the way!"_ Clint caroled from his perch on the back of the couch. Tony leaned over to bump fists with him.

Steve threw a handful of popcorn at them both.

"Yay, we got Capsicle to do something trivially irresponsible!" Tony said. Bruce hit him with a pillow.

"What about _Schrodinger's Heroes?"_ Bruce said.

"Done!" Tony said. "JARVIS, refold the map."

"What?" Steve said. "I don't get it, and I've never even heard of that show."

"You hadn't heard of _Firefly_ either, and you loved that," Tony said with a fond smile. "Trust me, Cap, this will absolutely be worth your time."

The lights dimmed. On the screen, a cartoon black cat hopped out of a box, which seemed to unfold out of itself very oddly. "Tesseract," Tony murmured helpfully. Then the first notes of the theme song 'Wanted Alive or Dead' floated through the air.  
 __  
Texas is rock and sand  
 _Quantum mechanics and  
_ _Friendships both old and new  
_ _Somehow we'll all get through ..._ __  
  
They watched the two halves of the pilot first, starting with 'Earth to Alex, Come in Please.' Tony gleefully pointed out the books on Alex's desk: Warped Passages by Lisa Randall, The Large Scale Structure of Space-Time by Stephen W. Hawking, and Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll. When Alex's cat Schrodinger chased a mouse across the console, turning an ordinary superconducting supercollider into the Teflon Tesseract, Natasha remarked, "This is why pets and science do not mix."

Steve peered at the scenery and muttered, "I remember Texas as much browner than this. Has that changed?"

"No, Waxahachie is just in kind of a wet part of the state," Bruce said. "They filmed a lot of the original episodes on location. It really is that green most of the year."

They went into 'Refolding the Map' without pausing for a break. When the fugitive arrived, chased by pursuers from another dimension, Thor bellowed, "Behold! It is the evil Moriarty!"

"Good catch," Phil said. "I always regretted that this character never reappeared in the later episodes. I wanted to see what trouble he'd cause."

"No spoilers," said Rhodey, who was used to stomping on Tony for the same reason.

Clint and Natasha rooted for Kay, who appeared first as a security guard and then distinguished herself enough to get promoted onto the team itself. "I'd love to try my aim against hers," Clint said wistfully.

"Just for that, _you_ can go get the pizza from the kitchen," Natasha said when the episode ended.

Steve sang along with the closing theme song:  
 __  
Texas is sand and rock  
 _Math that would puzzle Spock  
_ _Family new and old  
_ _Stories yet to be told ..._ __  
  
"That song is ... what do call it, an earwig?" Thor said, shaking his head.

"Ear _worm,"_ Clint said. "Ear _wig_ is someone who gets in your head and messes you up with words. You know, like Loki. Total earwig. _God of earwigs."_

"Knock it off, Clint," said Natasha. "Get the pizza or I will hang you from a ceiling fan and use you for target practice."

"Wrong episode," Clint said irrepressibly, but he hopped down from the couch and went to the kitchen. Pizza in hand, they soon continued with the rest of the aired episodes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christina Hendricks, who [played Saffron](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firefly_\(TV_series\)) in _Firefly,_ is who I typically envision playing Midge.
> 
> Andrew Scott, who [played James Moriarty](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherlock_\(TV_series\)) in _Sherlock,_ is who I sometimes envision playing the fugitive in "Earth to Alex, Come In Please."


	2. Phil Is a Fanboy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil is a fanboy, and Tony has a squish.

"Look, there's YoSaffMidge," Bruce said when Midge first snuck into the compound during 'Axis of Evolution.'

"Oh! _I get it!"_ Steve said with a huge grin. "That's the same actress from _Firefly."_ He snickered. "YoSaffBridge to YoSaff _Midge_. That's a good one, Bruce."

The other Avengers smiled at each other. It was worth a year of Saturdays to get Steve to where he could catch modern references on his own.

"Back in my obnoxious fanboy days --" Phil began.

_"Back in?"_ Steve said.

"-- I sort of snuck into the toilet adjoining the WorldCon Green Room so I could ask Christina Hendricks for her autograph," Phil said.

"Oh my god, you're _that guy,"_ Bruce said. "I heard about this!"

Steve raised his eyebrows. "Okay, Phil, I concede that you've gained _some_ control over your inner fanboy since then."

"I honestly never meant for you to find out about the underwear," Phil said.

"Then you shouldn't have left them _in the dryer,"_ Steve hissed, blushing.

"We have a dryer? Like, for clothes and not enamel paint?" Tony said.

"Also a washer. Pepper showed me how to use them," Steve said.

"JARVIS, make a note: add laundry and drycleaning as in-house services," Tony muttered.

"Some of us like doing our own, Tony," said Steve. "And shush, I want to watch the show."

Steve goggled a bit at 'Harnessing Power,' which was the episode with all the bondage scenes about using erotic energy as a power source. Thor turned to Tony and said earnestly, "You must _never_ show this to my brother!"

Tony, who usually weaseled out of obeying orders by sheer reflex, gave a firm nod. "Agreed," he said.

The fifth episode, 'Landing the Eagle,' went over better as it dealt with the Army's attempt to take over the compound. Bruce rudely compared Jayden to General Ross.

"She's not that bad," Tony said.

"She's not much of a sniper either," Clint said, siding with Bruce.

When everyone but Alex -- including Jayden and the other soldiers -- got shuffled into alternate dimensions, Alex had to figure out how to bring them all back. She pulled out her copy of  Warped Passages and referred to it while typing rapidly on her computer.

"See, that's why Lisa Randall is so great," Tony said. "She can totally save the world even when she's not there!"

"My Jane would like this Lady Randall," Thor said.

"I believe they've met, actually. I know they co-authored a paper on quantum astronomy," said Phil. "It's too bad she'd never agree to work with the Avengers Initiative."

"Really?" Bruce said.

"Yeah, she's never gonna speak to me again," Tony said.

"Why not?" Steve said. "She sounds like a nice dame. Really smart and all, and she knows Jane, so --"

Tony rubbed a hand over his face and mumbled, "I kind of spilled my drink all over a napkin she'd been writing equations on for most of an hour."

"That'd do it, yeah," Bruce said with a wince. 

Pepper nodded. "I did my best with damage control, but Lisa spent twenty minutes on the phone ranting about what a drunken jerk Tony is and how I'd better keep him on a shorter leash," she said.

"Tony may be a jerk, but he's _our_ jerk and she better not diss him," Clint said hotly.

Pepper rolled her eyes at him. "Anyway, I made agreeable noises," she said. "Then Lisa hung up on me. Since she wasn't suing us I figured the polite thing to do would just be to keep Tony out of her hair."

"But Tony still has a big squish on her?" Bruce said. "Like Alex in the show?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Pepper said.

"I do not have a crush on Lisa Randall. I just really admire her work," Tony argued.

"I said _squish,_ not _crush,"_ Bruce said, "and yes, you _do."_

Tony shrugged. "Okay, yeah, I could take her to bed, but I could get any bimbo for that, doesn't mean anything. Lisa now -- I could spend _hours_ just picking that woman's brain."

"Mmm, yeah," Bruce said dreamily. "This one time, I met Stephen Hawking at an event, and he was just going _on and on_ about her latest theory. We talked for a whole ten minutes and neither of us once mentioned our own work, just hers."

"So did you get to meet her too?" Tony asked.

"Nah, Stephen saved her a seat next to him at the banquet and I got stuck at another table," Bruce said with a philosophical shrug. "I mean, who _wouldn't_ jump at the chance to sit next to Stephen Hawking? Or Lisa Randall."

"Or Bruce Banner," Tony said, playfully elbowing Bruce in the ribs. "They were ninnies not to grab you while they had a chance, and now the Avengers have dibs."

They watched 'Why Pat's Not at Work' next. When Chris jumped in to rescue Pat from the interdimensional stalker, Phil muttered, "Why can't innocent bystanders ever be that competent in real life?"

"I'll settle for them not blocking my line of fire," Tony said.

Clint and Natasha sang along with Chris' rendition of 'Scarborough Fair,' Clint taking the gentleman's verses and Natasha taking the lady's verses. Their voices were unexpectedly sweet. Steve got a soft look on his face, watching them sing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explore [Firefly](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firefly_\(TV_series\)). Shiny!
> 
> A squish is an asexual crush.
> 
> Read the lyrics to "[Scarborough Fair](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scarborough_Fair_\(ballad\))."


	3. Why the Show Got Cancelled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers discuss why _Schrodinger's Heroes_ went off the air.

As the credits rolled, Bruce said, "This episode proved really popular among black fans, because it introduced the whole friendship between Pat and Chris -- and especially because Pat _survived_ someone trying to kill him. It was an early clue that this show could think outside the box."

"Then why was the show cancelled, if it was so popular?" Steve asked.

"Well, there were money problems and legal arguments and --" Bruce began.

"No, the show got cancelled because Justin Hammer's cousin is a _gigantic dick!"_ Tony snapped.

"Jonathan Thomas Farkendorker is Hammer's cousin?" Rhodey said.

"Yep," Tony said.

Rhodey groaned. "That explains a lot."

"Didn't Farkendorker get thrown out of WorldCon once, too? It's not just Phil," said Bruce.

"Thrown out of a second-story window into the swimming pool," Tony said. "He tried to approach some people with a new project idea and they rejected it forcefully. WorldCon usually doesn't see that level of fanac hijinks."

"I wish I could go to WorldCon again," Steve said wistfully. "I haven't been since the first one in 1939."

"You were at the _first WorldCon?"_ Bruce said. "Don't take this the wrong way, Steve, but I kind of hate you right now."

"You know, I would've been satisfied with just your badge," Phil said to Steve.

"I wouldn't," Steve said. His apology for not signing Phil's original run of Captain America trading cards -- and what had later happened to those cards -- had been his convention booklet autographed by John W. Campbell Jr., Isaac Asimov, L. Sprague de Camp, Ray Bradbury, and Harry Harrison. Well, that and punching Nick Fury in the face. Phil had forgiven Steve on the spot. Nobody had forgiven Fury yet.

"I wish I could go back to WorldCon too, but they'll never let me after that incident over the autograph," Phil said.

"Ah, don't sweat it, we can get you in. I mean, come on, they let _Harlan Ellison_ in," said Tony.

"I'm not going if he's on the guest list," Natasha said instantly.

"But --" Tony began.

_"No,"_ Natasha said, holding up a hand. "Tony Stark, not even _you_ have enough money to pay me to deal with Harlan _a second time."_

The next episode was 'Snips and Snails,' which started with the birthday party for Chris. Tony pointed out the team's assorted t-shirts, a running gag throughout the show. "I actually have one like Alex is wearing," he said. It read _I'm with genius_ underneath an upward arrow.

"Of course you do," Phil muttered.

"We should get the Chris shirt for Thor," Clint suggested. That read _Elemental BeEr_. "Jane would think it's hilarious, because you know, science and Thor."

Once into the main plot, however, they fell quiet. The sex-change episode always hit hard for those of them who already knew it -- despite its whimsical scenes -- and Steve fared no better. All the Avengers had experience with having their identity suddenly turned wrongside-out. As Quinn helped the other teammates cope with the changes, Steve said quietly, "I wish I had Quinn to lean on when the world goes cockeyed on me."

"Don't we all," Bruce said.

By then it was supper time. Tony had ordered Chinese, and when it arrived, supper proved to consist almost entirely of dishes including noodles. Natasha threatened to stab him with her chopsticks if crab rangoons were not forthcoming. He tossed her the relevant bag from a safe distance.

"I don't see what you've got against _lo mein,"_ Clint said. "We should all be Touched by His Noodly Appendages."

"Pastafarianism goes with Italian food, not Chinese," Bruce interjected. "Flying _Spaghetti_ Monster, not _lo mein_ monster."

"No spoilers," said Rhodey.

"I just think it's a bit _creepy_ considering the content of the next episode," Natasha said.

"Natasha's creeped, okay, I'm done now," said Rhodey. "Let's stop talking and put the show on."

'A Can of Worms' began with Alex and Ash testing the scope of the Teflon Tesseract to see how far it could reach.

"It resembles the Bifrost more than the Tesseract," Thor said, "though no doubt Loki would grasp the finer points better than I."

"We're not showing _this_ episode to him either," Tony said. "He doesn't need inspiration on massive damage options."

"What damage?" Thor said.

Just then the screen filled with rubble and dust as most of a building landed, partly on Alex, inside the Ring. Soon Tim the Tentacle Monster emerged from the haze carrying a limp, bloody Alex.

"Oh wow, oh wow," Steve chanted under his breath, leaning forward, utterly rapt. Stacy Anderson's genius in special effects was worthy of worship; the alien rubble and the introduction of Tim were still counted among the crowning glories. "This almost reminds me of _20,000 Leagues Under the Sea,_ only it's so much better. The things people can _do_ these days!" Sometimes getting flung into the future didn't suck much at all.

And then it did, again. As the story unfolded, Tim made friends with the team, only to discover that they were unable to send him home. At the end he was stuck in an unfamiliar world, alone even in a crowd.

Steve started to cry. At first he tried to stifle it, but it just got worse, and finally he pulled out a handkerchief to blow his nose. "I hate this," he said.  
"The heroes save everybody, but who saves the heroes, huh?" 

"Steve, what's wrong?" Pepper asked.

"I lost so much time, television and movies now are _nothing_ like what I remember, there's almost never anything good on unless one of you hand-picks it for me, I finally find something I love and it's already _gone_ and I just _want to go home!"_ he wailed all one breath. Then he burst into tears.

Thor got to him first this time, bundled Steve into a blanket, and led him to one of the corner chairs away from the main group. They'd all gotten used to dealing with each other's sore spots. Steve got edgy if one person hovered over him too much, or everyone piled on at once. So they took turns now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The [first WorldCon](http://fanac.org/worldcon/NYcon/w39-p00.html) happened in 1939.
> 
> [The Flying Spaghetti Monster](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster) is the central figure in the religion of Pastafarianism.


	4. Miracles on Order

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce has a brilliant idea for reviving _Schrodinger's Heroes._

"I can't blame Steve for getting upset," Clint said. _"Schrodinger's Heroes_ is one of my favorites too. I can't remember how many petitions I've signed for it."

"Forty for me," Natasha said.

"I'm up to a hundred and ten as of last month," Phil said.

"I do not understand your exchange, although I admire this example of Midgardian entertainment," Thor said.

"Petitions demonstrate support for doing something. People have been trying to get the show renewed ever since it went off the air, but well, it's been years," Pepper said. "Even if we could solve the financial and legal problems, it wouldn't really work now -- the actors are too much older." 

"Why didn't you just buy it up back then, Tony? You mentioned earlier that you've been a big fan since the very beginning," Bruce said.

Tony looked away. "I was in a bad place at the time."

"I did what I could, but it wasn't much," Pepper said. "Though I am quite proud of hiring Stacy Anderson before anyone else could."

Bruce goggled at her. _"Stacy Anderson_ works for Stark Industries?"

"Oh yeah," Tony said. "It took me a while before I found out, but here, look." He flicked his fingers to activate a hologram. "Stacy does a lot of the high-end work in our imaging department. I thought you'd recognize the style."

"Now that you mention it, I do," Bruce said. He grinned. "That is _so cool._ This is my absolute _dream job,_ just because I get to hang out with people like you who know all kinds of amazing experts."

"Yeah, my gamma ray guy is the top of his field too," Tony said with a wink. 

Bruce blushed. "Oh, go on," he said.

"No, seriously, I only hire the best," Tony said. "I may be a genius, but it's a lot more work to pull ideas out of my ass _all by myself._ It's easier and more fun when I have other geniuses to help. Then it's possible to deliver multiple miracles at once." A twist of his wrist sent the hologram dancing around the room.

Bruce followed it with his gaze, then said abruptly, "You could do it."

"Do what?" Tony said. "Miracles on order, science bro, but you gotta fill out the request form first."

"You could bring back _Schrodinger's Heroes,"_ Bruce said. "You've got the money, you could leverage the rights --"

Tony shook his head. "Yeah, no, Pepper's got a point about the time lapse."

"But that's exactly what I mean!" Bruce said, his voice scaling up. He grabbed the hologram and dragged it back to Tony. "Look at this thing, this thing is brilliant. Remember Gollum in _The Lord of the Rings?_ Gollum wasn't just a CGI cartoon, he was a -- a _digital costume._ You could do something like that, only better, replicate images of the actors as they were at the time of the show, along with their voices, then use those to act out the unscripted episodes. You're _Tony Stark_ and you have _Stacy Anderson_ working for you. _You could do this_. You could bring back the show."

"It's crazy ..." Tony said, but slowly, his mind turning the idea over and over.

"You could make like a kazillion bucks from that kind of program," Clint said. "The competition is pathetic. Remember that piece of crap paint program that Steve was fighting with before you wrote him one that actually works? Just imagine what you could do with that in 3D. You never watch CGI animation without dissing the quality. People would _throw_ money at you for a digital costume program."

Tony shrugged. "I don't really need more money."

"Tony!" Pepper said. "We've talked about this. Don't blow off opportunities."

"So write it and give it away for free," Clint said with a shrug, ignoring Pepper. (Clint lived with Natasha. It gave him a nonstandard risk assessment.) "That would be heroic, from an artist's perspective. Steve would probably love you for it."

Pepper tapped her stylus against the notepad computer that rarely left her grasp. "Hm, no, you're onto something, Clint. If we released the main program for free, it would attract a lot of users fast. Then we could capitalize on that and sell expansions, upgrades, additional actor images ..." She took notes rapidly. "A big bottleneck in programming is man hours, because experts are so expensive. But we're talking about _Tony and Stacy_ here -- they code at blinding speed."

"Plus fandom would pretty much worship at your feet, Tony. The PR benefit would be tremendous," Phil pointed out. "We need all the help we can get there." 

"This could work," Pepper declared. She looked up at Tony. "The only question is, could you actually develop a digital costume program powerful enough to shoot the unscripted episodes and make them indistinguishable from the originals?"

Tony chuffed at her. "Piece of cake," he said.


	5. Worth Putting Up With

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and company discuss possible ways of reviving _Schrodinger's Heroes_.

"Amazingly, Tony, you turn out to be worth putting up with after all," Phil said.

"I told you so," Tony said.

"You also told Fury he couldn't afford your rates," Phil said. "Then you took it in barter."

Tony winked. "Favors cost far more than cash, Phil. I _reamed_ Fury on that deal, and he knows it, he just doesn't talk about it."

_"Definitely_ worth putting up with," Phil said with a smirk. "So how does this work with reviving the show? Shoot the unscreened episodes in probable order? There were gaps in the storyline because they never fully developed some of the planned material. You'd have to find people to flesh out some of that..."

"You could start by finishing 'Where the Caged Bird Flies.' That was in production when the show got cancelled," Pepper said. "Stacy completed all the special effects before sneaking out the bootleg of the fragments, so it's just a matter of shooting the remainder of the plain scenes."

"Hah!" Bruce barked. "I _knew_ Stacy had to be the one who let that cat out of the bag." 

"Shush," Pepper said. "Let's keep that to ourselves, at least until we have all the relevant copyrights in hand."

Clint gave Tony a measuring look. "If renewing _Schrodinger's Heroes_ is enough to make Phil admit that you're worth the _stupendous_ amount of trouble you cause ... maybe it would have the same effect on that Lisa chick."

"She's not a _chick,_ Clint," Pepper said with a frown, "she's one of the leading quantum physicists in the entire world."

"But it's an amazing show and Tony does amazing things with computers, so it ought to impress her," Clint said.

"Lisa _does_ have the portable terminal for the Teferact from 'A Door in the Wind.' I don't know how she managed to outbid me," Phil said. "So she's definitely a hardcore fan. Dilettantes don't collect original props. Besides, Clint's right about Tony, and don't forget that Stacy Anderson is a genius too."

"I can't wait to see 'Where the Caged Bird Flies' finished," Bruce said. "Just the special effects are eye-popping, and you can kind of guess the plot from there. It always reminds me of the Sneetches and the Star-On machine."

Pepper smiled at him. "You would think of that, Bruce. But you don't need to bankrupt yourself with the Fix-It-Up Chappie. We love you just the way you are."

_"Anyway,_ the show is going to be a huge hit again," Clint said. "This is history we're making here. Everybody should appreciate it."

"I doubt this will do me any good with Lisa Randall, though," Tony said. "She really does hate me, and okay, can't say I blame her, Tony Stark not recommended, yadda yadda --"

"So don't tell her it's from you," Clint said. "Think like a spy for once. Write the program, shoot the episode, send her a copy of it. She's a fan, she'll flip over it." Heads nodded around the room. "Then _after_ she falls in love with the finished version of 'Where the Caged Bird Flies,' you send her a note telling her that it's your very belated apology for spilling your drink on her napkin equations. That should at least get your foot in the door."

"You know," Bruce said slowly, "if we released the later episodes one at a time at Mensa parties, I bet we could get Lisa Randall _and_ Stephen Hawking to sit with us. Word is they both did a bit of consulting for the show."

"Everybody who's anybody in quantum physics did, it's a small world," Tony said, "but yeah, that's an idea." He grinned dreamily at the thought. Then he shook his head. "I dunno, though, this is all fun to talk about, but we're pretty busy with Avengers stuff. Crazy villains. Armor upgrades. Clint's new arrowheads ..."

"I'll take the show," Clint said instantly. "You gave me the last batch of arrowheads less than a month ago, Tony, I haven't even tested all those in combat yet."

Just then, Thor walked Steve back into the main group. Steve's eyes were red, but he had mostly stopped crying. Phil tugged him onto a couch. Steve leaned against Phil, pressing into the comforting warmth. Phil looped an arm around him. Natasha silently curled up on the other side of Steve.

"We heard the talk about restoring the Heroes of Schrodinger to their former glory," Thor said. "I wish to hear more of this!"

"Tony's getting cold feet," Clint said.

"I am not!" Tony said. "I'm just trying to be responsible. People are always bugging me to be more responsible, jeez, make up your minds."

"Pepper and I have already pointed out the practical benefits," Phil said. "As for the personal benefits ... well, an impressive enough apology can work miracles."

"Come on, Tony. Save the day in a way that _doesn't_ involve blowing things up, for once," Bruce wheedled.

"Did you even _read_ the unscreened episodes?" Tony said. "Put me and Stacy Anderson on that project, and there will be _all kinds_ of explosions."

"Just say you'll do it," said Bruce, bouncing a little in place.

"It would probably make Farkendorker and Hammer cry," Rhodey pointed out. "That never gets old."

"Okay, I'll do it," Tony said.

Pepper squealed and clapped her hands. "I'll put Legal right on the copyright acquisition," she said.

Steve emerged from his handkerchief, still sniffling a little, but smiling now. "My hero," he said.

 

~ MISSION ACCOMPLISHED ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Mensa](http://www.mensa.org/) is the high-IQ society, an organization for exceptionally smart people. They throw good parties at speculative fiction conventions sometimes.


End file.
